The world sleeps as I'm wide awake
I have just made another big mistake
So determined that I set myself up to fail
I am living in my own hell
Self hate and disgust is what I feel
When will recovery ever be real?
Everyone tells me its all in my head
I feel like my insides are rotten and dead
Why is it that I just cant stop?
How long can this go on before I drop?
I am so angry with myself
Why can't I stop and think about my health?
This insanity makes me want to scream
If only this was just a bad dream
I would never wish this on anyone
I would like to know when this all begun
I don't want to do it again
This needs to be a battle I win
But it keeps calling me back in
What is wrong with me?
Why cant this let me be?
One moment I desperately want to get better
The next I don't want to give up on feeling light as a feather
Always trying to reach an unreachable goal
I feel as though there is a giant hole in the center of my soul
I cant give in yet again
I know this is a terrible sin
I always set myself up for fail
Trying and trying with no avail
One step forward, two steps back
I can never stay on track
What am I supposed to do?
I'm so sorry I keep doing this to you
I am so damn tired of this
I have fallen into a deep abyss
I have reached the point of no return
I am going to crash and burn